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EMI, the end is nigh! January 17, 2008

Posted by Paul Birch in : BPI, EMI, IFPI, New Music, Paul Birch , add a comment

How many hands do you need to run Britain’s longest running Record Company? Obviously only one: Guy Hands. Soon he might be the only one left as he dis-members arguably the worlds finest Recording company. Since Hands has fired 2000 of EMI’s 5000 employees centering operations in London, everyone is waiting to see what he does next (hide the matches).

He has already explained to the press he doesn’t want EMI to be about signing new music any more. And we all thought he was some savvy suit from the city who was going to streamline (cut and paste) operations and raise share values. If EMI doesn’t stand for new music any more, then what exactly does it stand for? And can EMI share prices sustain such profoundly moronic behavior.

You couldn’t make it up (Hide the Gin), Guy Hands is on the loose, cheque book in one hand and a hatchet in the other. Pity all the cheques have a face value of less than $1.00

If you dropped him in the jungle with a machete and a satellite phone, he wouldn’t last 5 minutes before he succumbed to the blade. With only his own head left, he simply couldn’t resist the temptation! Even though he was only a quarter of a mile from the closest City Bank.

With one in three EMI employees now officially INDEPENDENT, Guy hands proves the rule, you can parachute in experts from other industries and immediately they cease to be experts in our industry. Roll on the merger with the brothers at Warner. Meanwhile EMI have given IFPI (and defacto BPI) notice to quit, as Guy Hands seeks to save his subscription to the cost of running the industry. Is this the end of the IFPI, the BPI and the other trade associations if not the end of EMI? Watch this space.